失恋し編 Shitsurenshihen: Heartbreak Arc
by MagicianofWords
Summary: It's winter of Showa 58; the Hinamizawa Gang have escaped from the Endless June and are living normal lives once more. But one day, the missing Satoshi reappears. What sort of repercussions could this have on their group dynamic? Yaoi warning.
1. Prelude

I thought I had seen the butterfly  
Dance above the field

I thought I had glanced the tortoiseshell  
Biting at its heels

I heard the eagle give its call  
The butterfly no more

I thought I saw a butterfly  
That caught me unaware

-Frederica Bernkastel 

The snow outside reflected sunlight into the classroom. I yawned. Winter had come to Hinamizawa, and when the first flakes had fallen, Rika had unexpectedly started to cry. She wouldn't tell anyone why she was shedding tears, but I could see that behind the sadness was genuine happiness.

That was two weeks ago. Now, I was sitting around with nothing to do. It was a slow, sleepy day like usual. The door slid open. Rena and Mion, who had better views of the door, looked over and gasped. I couldn't see what was so startling; it was just Shion. The twin had been gone a lot lately. Not even Mion knew where she had disappeared to so often.

"Come on," coaxed Shion.

She stepped into class, dragging a blond boy behind her. Silence quickly fell upon us. The boy looked around, puzzled.

My breath caught in my throat when he turned and I got a good look at him. His gaze was startled but fell softly over the room; he locked eyes with me before looking over everyone else. Who is this slender blond who has such soft features and emaciated wrists?

"Nii-nii…" Satoko whispered. She got up, hanging back tentatively. A mix of joy and pain on her face, she rushed forward to embrace him.

Nii-nii? Then, this boy… is Houjou Satoshi…?


	2. Adagio

The first was the minstrel  
Who thought himself a pauper

The next was the pauper  
Who thought himself a king

The last was the regal king  
Who knew himself to be a fool

-Frederica Bernkastel

Class ended and we hung back for club activities. Chie-sensei hadn't let Satoshi's arrival interrupt the class for long, though it was obvious that even she was shocked. With time to ourselves now, we were able to pay as much attention as we wanted to him. I hung back since I didn't really know him; it would be awkward for me to congratulate him on his return. Instead, I just watched him carefully. He was sweet with all of them, listening patiently to what they had to say and responding in kind. Observing his gentle smile, I tried to keep from smiling myself.

I was deep in my thoughts, so I was startled when Satoshi approached me.

"Hello, Keiichi-kun," my name sounded like honey coming from his lips. "Thank you for taking care of Satoko while I was gone."

"No problem," I managed to say.

"You should come join us. We're about to play Old Man."

Satoshi took me by the hand. My heart rose up into my throat; the pounding of blood flowing through my veins was loud in my ears. I didn't want to let go, but I had to. We sat next to each other at the table. Due to our positions, I would be taking cards from him.

Whenever it was my turn to choose a card, Satoshi would smile at me from behind his hand. _Cool ni nare_, I repeated to myself, _cool ni nare_. I tried to keep my hands from shaking as much as possible.

"Thanks, Keiichi-kun; I'm out."

I had taken his last card. It was a final battle between Rena and I, then. She carefully scrutinized the backs of the cards even though this was brand-new deck. I could feel the sweat on my forehead slowly run into my eyes. Making her choice, she damned me with a squeal of joy. I'd lost.

In the end, it was my fate to be the vicim of another punishment game. Somehow, Satoshi was able to come out victorious over everyone, so he would decide what I would have to do. Everyone watched him in anticipation as he mulled over his choices.

"Are you strong, Keiichi-kun?" he asked.

I flinched. What kind of a question was that? He may have just returned so he doesn't know me very well, but… why a question like that if he wants to know more about me?

"O-of course I am…"

"Well, then, would you please carry me until we need to go in different directions?"

"It's a punishment game," I blushed. "You don't need to ask so politely since I'll have to do it whether or not I want to."

What I hoped no one knew was that I did want to do it. He couldn't know that I felt this way, could he? This punishment was too fortunate for me. I only have to carry him until our paths diverge, but I would gratefully bring him all the way home. It doesn't matter how far apart our houses are, I would still do it.

"I told you, you should build up some muscle, Kei-chan! Right, Shion?"

"Hau, so adowable…"

"What a bout _my_ piggyback ride?"

"I'll carry you, Satoko-chan. Nipaa~ "

I played along with all of their joking, but inside, I felt really jittery. As much as I tried to not let it show, I knew that some of it had to be getting out though my speech and body language. If anyone noticed, they were gracious enough to pretend they saw nothing. At least my pride was still intact, for the most part.

Satoshi made me crouch down in front of him. With his crotch pressed against the small of my back and his arms draped over my shoulders, I lifted him off the ground. He was surprisingly light, much lighter than I expected someone my age to be.

I had heard bits of Satoshi's story, but I really didn't know anything. Although I would have liked to understand him, I didn't want to pry. Just having him riding on my back was enough to make me happy.

Walking out of the school, I had to duck to make sure I didn't run his head into the doorframe. The girls followed behind, fawning over us. They wouldn't stop whispering behind our backs, exchanging secret words just quietly enough that we couldn't hear. Suffice it to say, I felt a bit annoyed.

"I'm not too heavy for you, am I?" Satoshi laughed nervously.

I shook my head. Even if he were thirty pounds heavier, which he honestly should have been, he wouldn't be too heavy for me. Perhaps I'd be much more tired by now, but I wouldn't care. Until my legs gave out or he demanded to be let down, I would continue to carry him. Whichever came first.

As we came up to the next intersection, Satoshi tugged on the front of my shirt. I turned my head to find my lips just a scant distance from his. I snapped my head back forward. That was really close; I dearly hoped I wasn't blushing.

"You can let me down now," Satoshi whispered in my ear. "I can walk from here."

My heart beat rapidly. _Cool ni nare_, this is your chance, Maebara Keiichi!

"Satoshi-kun," I said. "I can carry you all the way home, if you'd like."

"I couldn't ask you to go out of your way like that…"

Mion nudged me with her elbow and winked. "Hey, if Kei-chan wants to go all the way with his punishment, I don't see why you shouldn't let him!"

What… was that? She's acting as if she's conspiring with me. Did she know? Was I being too obvious? I brushed it off and pretended to be annoyed.

"Don't worry, Satoshi-kun," adjusting my hold on his thighs, I started running off down the road. "I'll make sure you get home safe!"

I didn't know if I was blushing, but my face was definitely going to be flushed after this.

"You didn't have to run all the way here," Satoshi said worriedly as he got off my back.

It was hard enough carrying him, but running in the snow made it much more difficult. He was right; there really was no reason to be running like that. So why did I?

"I wanted to," I smiled, panting.

As I got up, Satoshi embraced me.

"S-Satoshi-kun…"

His arms were wrapped around me, head resting on my shoulder. In my shock, I just limply returned the hug. Was… this normal? There weren't any guys my age at school, and people in the city don't usually hug each other, especially not guys. Regardless, it felt… good. It was too embarrassing for me to show it, but the warmth of his body against mine was comforting. I'm sure he probably held me for an awkward amount of time, although it still didn't feel long enough.

He said good-bye and waved to me. Waving back, I started down the way I'd come. I ran into Satoko on the way back, who turned her head away petulantly. Rika followed behind her and smiled at me. Nipaa~

As the sun fell towards the horizon, I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The air was sharp but sweet; it would never cease to amaze me how even the air was so different from the city. This Hinamizawa is a beautiful place, and now that Satoshi has returned, it's sure to be even better.

Wait. What was I saying? I walked weakly to the side of the read and placed my head against a tree. Everything that's happened today since Satoshi arrived, everything that I've felt…

"Keiichi-kun," someone whispered behind me.

I spun around, startled. To my relief, it was just Rena. If it had been anyone else, I would have probably died of embarrassment.

"Keiichi-kun," she repeated, stepping closer. "What's wrong? Do you want to talk to Rena? Do you?"

A fierce pain stabbed through my chest. I didn't really think I wanted to tell anyone. But how could I deny Rena? She's sharper than people think; if anyone would have noticed I was acting strange, it would have been her. It's obvious that she was terribly worried about me, since she took the time to follow me out here.

Rena gazed into my eyes and place her hand on my shoulder. "It's okay, Keiichi-kun. You know you can trust Rena; you can tell her anything."

I held my head in my hands. I _knew_ that Rena was here for me, that I could always trust her. It hurt so much thinking about hiding this from her. _Cool ni nare_, Maebara Keiichi, _cool ni nare_.

"Rena-chan," I said slowly. "I think I'm in love with Satoshi-kun."

My hands felt wet. Tears? Why was I crying? I was laughing hysterically at myself, so why was I crying?

Through my tear-blurred vision, I could make out Rena's kind, accepting smile. She held her arms out to me, taking me into her soft embrace as she whispered soothing words. We stood there together for some time, the cold winter wind biting at my wet cheeks. I could feel in her warmth just how beautiful the trust between us truly was.

"Rena will always stand by Keiichi-kun, whether he loves Satoshi-kun or someone else."

"Thank you, Rena-chan," I murmured.

It was getting late and we had to get home. I led the way, Rena staying close as we walked. After admitting how I felt about Satoshi, I felt a lot better. Of course, it was still pretty mortifying, telling Rena that I like another man.

"Um, Keiichi-kun…" she asked timidly.

"Yeah?"

"Have you always liked men? Have you?"

I could feel the blood rushing to my face. "N-no! I mean, maybe… I never really thought about it, you know?"

"Would you have told Rena if you had known? Would you?"

"O-of course!" I said loudly in an attempt to cover up my embarrassment. "Rena-chan is my trusted friend; I wouldn't hide something like that from you!"

She latched onto my arm. "Hau~ Keiichi-kun is so adowable when he blushes~"

I laughed nervously, scratching the side of my head.

"I think you should tell Mii-chan, Keiichi-kun."

"I know. I'll… tell everyone soon… Everyone except Satoshi-kun."

"Why not Satoshi-kun? Why not?"

Sighing, I looked straight at Rena. "I'm sure Satoshi-kun isn't a… a faggot like I am. I want to be his friend; if I told him, he'd probably avoid me like a neurological disease."

"Satoshi-kun isn't like that…"

Rena stayed quiet after that. We waved silently to each other as we went our separate ways. When I got home, I went right to my room and lay down. Holding my blanket tightly, I waited for dinner to be ready.


End file.
